WHAT ELSE DO OUR CHILDREN NEED FROM US WHEN THEY’RE GRIEVING?

WEDNESDAY, 28TH JUNE, 2023.

By Pastor Dr Samuel B. Ayorinde 

TOPIC:  WHAT ELSE DO OUR CHILDREN NEED FROM US WHEN THEY’RE GRIEVING? 

MEMORIZE: "And Ephraim their father mourned many days, and his brethren came to comfort him."  1 Chronicles 7:22

SCRIPTURE READING: Proverbs 22:6

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

EXPOSITION:

Expectation of our children from the parents is very high. If the parents failed in discharging their responsibilities, the children will be exposed to danger and become victims of evil circumstances. Here are some of the ways we can help our children when in grief.

(1) Our honesty. They need to know we’re hurting too. When they see you crying, but you tell them, “I’m all right,” they’re confused. They think either you’re not hurting, and tears don’t mean anything, or you’re not being real with them. They need to know the genuine you, so they can be real with you and trust you with their hurts. 

(2) Our awareness of their feelings without overprotecting them. For them, as for you, “There is a time to weep…mourn…lose” (vv. 4, 6 NKJV). God has made all these experiences “appropriate in its time” (v.11 NAS). Don’t inhibit or invalidate their sadness, anger, and depression. It’s part of their God-given humanness, and will help them become balanced, compassionate adults. 

(3) Sensitive listening. Kids learn and grow through loss when they have an open and understanding listener. Listen, then reflect their feelings. “Sounds like you’re angry. Want to talk about it?” Don’t analyze, ask! Listen with your eyes and ears. “Your words say you’re all right, but your eyes suggest you’re sad.” 

(4) Permission to express negative emotions. Anger and resentment aimed at doctors, the system, family members, you, even God is normal! Don’t say, “You shouldn’t say such things.” Instead say, “Sounds like a real, honest expression of pain and disappointment. Want to talk more about it?” Expression detoxifies negative emotion. 

(5) Include them in your family discussion and decision making. Include them in family gatherings, funeral planning, and services, and they will find comfort in the validation, closure, and healing these times bring!

KEY POINT: Handle the training of children with care and prayers. Be faithful and truthful to them, leading by example.

DAILY BIBLE READING IN A YEAR –  Psalms 120-122.

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ANCHOR OF LIFE is the daily devotional guide written by PASTOR DR. SAMUEL AYORINDE. It is an extraction of God’s word designed to draw the sincere seekers closer to God on a daily basis through an insightful exposition and analysis of God’s Word. Read, Meditate, Pray and Share this message to others. For prayers, Counseling and further enquiries, call or whatsapp +2347032993319; +2348056130469. Or Email: anchoroflifeministry@gmail.com